Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Post session thoughts from 10/13

I never went back to edit or finish the blog below. I’ll be posting a new one in a bit.

Well, it seems that I’m back to where I was in April (see April 8 blog), trying to see positive in myself, believing that I do have worth. It was an interesting conversation with my therapist today. She gave me basically the same homework she gave me in April. I need to come up with positive statements to say to myself several times a day, with the goal being that I will accept the statements as true at some point.

I spent a lot of the session explaining why that won’t happen, the hurdles to that being successful, that we’ve tried it before, and I don’t want to fail, again. I think a part of what she is saying is that I definitely won’t learn to believe if I don’t try. What I was saying to her is that I have tried, many times. She pointed out that I need to stick with it, that reprogramming my brain won’t happen overnight and that I need to be prepared for the long haul with some of these issues.

Success is “something that turns out well: something that turns out as planned or intended”. Failure is lack of success.

Fear of failure…failure adds to an already lacking sense of worth,

Fear of success…if I succeed I’ll be in a place I am unfamiliar with, out of my “comfort zone”, will it matter, what do I do with it once I have it, will I be able to maintain it, will someone take it away


There ya have it. Thanks for taking the time to read it. Feedback is always welcome.

More to come in a bit.

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