Another 12/16/08 MS Blog Decorating

As you all know, I've been really fighting off the D monster with marginal success. I decided that it might be good for me to put up a tree and maybe a few decorations despite the number of spoons that I know it will take to put it all up and then take it all down. The hope is that it will help my battle with the D monster to lift my spirits as I celebrate yet another holiday without family and sitting by myself, on the pity pot, like it is any other day. In 6 years we have never decorated or put up a tree, mostly because he is not here and it is a lot of work for just me. But this year I have a better idea….. The idea is a good one but executing that idea….. well, you decide.
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While bitching, moaning, and lecturing me like a disapproving father that I have too much stuff (no shit Sherlock), my boyfriend did manage to get off of the sofa and drop the remote long enough to help me get the totes out of the shed. ('Tis the season to be jolly…) The totes really need to be better organized so I empty most of them all over the living room and dining room. While I am sitting on the floor, I realize that the floor is moving……ants. Damn! I take the box I think they are associated with outside, kill what I can see inside, clean those up, and continue. (fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la)

Because of the quantity and my desire to do it right – you know, all or nothing – it takes me most of the afternoon and in to the evening to get it all at least identified and know what I want to do with what. That is an accomplishment in itself! (Santa Claus is coming to town…) Oh, and now I'm seeing some ants on my dining room table! Crap! I try to deal with them as I see them, assuming that they were strays from the original issue. (He's making a list, checking it twice….. I'm still singing – in my head of course)

By this time it is almost half time of the late game. I'm excited because a friend who knows that I love purple gives me some really pretty, new or barely used, quality, ornaments – something I've never had – in two different purple colors with the suggestion that I might do my tree in all purple. The image in my head is beautiful, like in a magazine. A full, tall, sturdy tree aglow with bright white twinkling lights and the sparkle of beautiful ornaments of different shades of purple, it's almost majestic. (Hark the herald angels sing…...)

Then…… I take out my tree, my cheap 8-9 year old 5ft tree that I haven't used in years so I don't remember what it really looks like, which is not the picture on the box. Ok, so it is not the full, tall, sturdy tree in my head. Ok, I'll make it work. (glory to the newborn king……I'm not very religious but when thinking of the tree in my head this is what came to mind).

I walk around and around trying to fluff and separate, but not too much of course. It resembles the Charlie Brown tree more than the tree in my head but I forge ahead. (Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way….) In my dream like haze of what the tree in my head looks like, I make the decision to put the lights on from the bottom up. WTF! Damn it! Half time is minutes away and I know my boyfriend won't be "in the spirit for long" so I do the best I can to finish the top half of lights and hope that it won't look terribly half assed. (oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh…)

We open up the ornaments my friend brought, hook 'em up, and put them on the tree. Hmmmm, seems like it is missing something, still a bit Charlie Brown looking. I know! Let's get out some of my old, cheap, silver, shiny, ornaments to fill in the empty spots! (I want a hippopotamus for Christmas) Um, apparently, old and cheap become silver faded white ornaments. Damn it! Ok, we'll put the worst one's on the back side. Hmmmm, still seems like it needs more. Butthead, oh, I mean boyfriend, suggests adding some of my old and cheap purple shiny ornaments. Oh, hell, whatever. The image in my head is long gone and these aren't as faded as the silver ornaments. (only a hippopotamus will do….) We place those and it's still not quite right, even with all of the ornaments. In our brilliance we decide to add icicles and call it a night. Boyfriend says "well, it's not the prettiest but it sure is you!" He meant no harm and was trying to be positive but holy crap man! Try to think before you speak sometimes!

And why was this a good idea?? (lol)

**Of course when you envision me singing you must add the head bob, head tilts, and of obviously the silly, naive look on my face.** Really, go back, it adds to the story (wink)

MS Blog 12/16/08 Holiday Spirit

Ok, a new day. Fortunately before going to bed Sunday night, I did clean up the house a little so coming down the stairs, even to a pitiful tree, was kind of nice. I chose not to see all of the stuff that still had to be cleaned up.

I had a fairly busy and stressful day. I get home late afternoon and decide that I really would enjoy the tree if there wasn't so much crap all over the place still. (Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely…..) I start finishing labels on totes and, of course, the label maker runs out of tape. Really?!?! Now?!?! Damn it! I will not be deterred. I put the bra back on and head out.

I return and decide that a cup of hot tea would be nice, even though the temps are in the 50s. Um, holy crap! The sink has ants on it! Are you kidding me??? (Oh f'ing Christmas tree, oh f'ing Christmas tree, of all the trees most lovely…..)

I get a lot of the totes back to the shed and decide to take a few minutes to put up a few more decorations. (Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…..) I hang two stockings. I bring out my small, nightstand size, gold tree that I have only because it reminds me of the few good times with my mom and the holidays. (Jack frost nipping at your nose…..) I'm reminded that I need to clean the dirt/dust off of the white tree so that I can put it on a table in the window. Ok, let's see. Salt, sugar, rice, hmmm, what should I use. I need the salt and sugar for the baking I still have to do but I hardly ever eat rice so that is it. (Frosty the snowman…..) Crap! I don't have any rice…..oh, hey, I do have that off brand boxed macaroni and cheese that is awful and I should have thrown it away by now anyway. What the hell, this is one way to use up those boxes! I get one of the biggest plastic bags I have, dump the macaroni in, close the bag tightly around the top of as much of the tree as I can, and begin to shake it. (was a jolly happy soul….) Works good for a second or two and then macaroni begins to fly! Shit! I must not have had the bag closed tight enough! And, of course, I have some things soaking in the sink and where does most of it land? You got it! In the water! Well, then, I guess I'll pick up what is on the floor. Are you kidding me!?!? More ants! Son of a (I manage to stop myself even though I am alone in the house). I kill what I see, realize that there is an empty box that has a lot of ants crawling all over it, throw it outside, clean those bodies and macaroni up, and go back to shakin'. (with a corncob pipe and a button nose……) Yep, macaroni all over the place. I decide that whatever this treatment might accomplish would be done and repeating this process was not necessary – especially once I saw the HOLE in the MFing bag!!!!!

I don't even know if it worked or not. I give. It's way late and I have a busy, early, Tuesday.

BTW - does anybody know how to get tiny macaroni out of the limbs and bristles of a fake tree???

(We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!.....) Bah humbug! (wink)

12/6/08 MS Blog about The Colony being "priceless"

Insanely large, real sugar, piece of pecan pie – $1.50

Insanely large, almost too hot, cup of tea – $.25

Insanely large, mix matched, holiday themed pjs and socks – $10

Insanely large, warm, fuzzy, throw blanket ready for a good snuggling – $5

Insanely large open spot (some of us require more space than others for all our parts, wink) on the CK sofa – free for the asking

Insanely large, eclectic group of wonderful people brought together by a wonderful man, who care when those in trouble are in need – priceless

Thank you
xo