Please understand that none of this is meant to p*ss anybody off, to hurt anybody's feelings, to single any one person out. These are my thoughts, my opinions, and if you disagree please feel free to say so as long as it is with respect.
I was going to post this at the NBC Colony but it is just too d*mn long. I will post it at MySpace and FaceBook, too.
All people are multifaceted. We all have more than one role in life. We all have a limited (some more and some less than others) amount of spoons and only 24 hours in a day.
When I first came to the Colonies a year and a half ago, I think, I was amazed at how much personal time ANT spent with the Colonies (yes, plural), with HUGE numbers of members at EACH Colony. Seeing that he took his personal time to acknowledge, to post video blogs, to read posts, reply to texts, email, phone calls, snail mail, UPS packages, Fed Ex packages, smoke signals, seemingly whatever it took, was astounding to me. I know he had some wonderful and necessary assistance with some of it but his personal attention was obvious and I doubt many of us could keep up with all of that, assistance or not. Then add in his personal life, his professional life, a social life, his role as a son, role as a brother, role as a spouse, role as caregiver, role as friend, role as a human with needs, wants, and desires that take time and focus, you get my point. With all of these roles he has chosen to share or not to share, which is his right, often sharing more than many of us would be willing to share with the public, the country, the world.
Shortly after “joining” the Colony as a whole, I sent ANT a message. I barely knew anything more of him than what I saw on Celebrity Fit Club and the minimal amount of time I had spent here at that point. I practically begged him to pull back. I told him that I thought he was going to burn himself out and that wasn’t fair to him and certainly not what the members of the Colonies would want for him. Even at that point, it seemed obvious to me that it was not healthy for him to continue at that pace.
It seems that it took Richard’s illness and unfortunate death for him to pull back from here, although he did continue to post blogs and interact as I do think we were somewhat a source of comfort to him at the time. That is my hope anyway as I would hate to think it was out of any feeling of obligation he had for the Colonies.
But, then, with the many demands of life, which included us as many were sure to let him know, he tried to get back to what was normal for him. That was totally understandable but I worried it was too soon. I again encouraged him to pull back, to do only what he HAD to do and to take care of HIMSELF as the priority and if that included us great but if not we would be here when he was ready.
My point in spelling all of this out is to say that as far as I am concerned he has given too much of himself to us all and that maybe we’ve been a bit…. spoiled and I’ve told him that directly. My thoughts on this was/is not meant as a slam to us but rather an acknowledgement to him and all he has given us. Unselfishly and unconditionally, sometimes to a fault in my opinion as he has taken some crap he did not deserve and should never have had to deal with but he chose to anyway.
So, from where I sit, in my opinion, I am ecstatic to see that he is taking time for himself, focusing on what is and should be the most important things/people to him at this time. I do not take it personally that he has had to put us on the back burner. Frankly it upsets me more to see him sacrifice himself, and possibly his health and wellbeing, for the expectations of others.
I do understand missing him as I miss him, too. I do understand some of the frustrations. I do think we should ALL express our concerns, opinions, and thoughts as I think that is what ANT wants us to do here, as long as it is with respect. I do think that he would appreciate that we are having healthy conversations with our sometimes differing points of view. I’m sure he knows and appreciates the fact that it is out of concern for him and the wonderful Colonies he has created.
Let’s assume, for a micro-second that ANT no longer cares as some of you have suggested and/or feel. Does that mean that there is no longer value to us as Colonies? Does it make any of our relationships invalid? Does that, by default, make the Colonies no longer viable? I don’t, even for a micro-second believe that it is because ANT doesn’t care. I think he cares very, very, much. It’s like on an airplane. The parent has to put on his mask before he can help the child put on hers. But we’re not children. We are adults that are capable of putting on our own masks, and I think we should be offering help to him if and when he might need it. Fortunately, he is able and choosing to put on his own mask. I think he knows we can put our own on.
I think ANT should get much credit for helping many of us put on our own sometimes life-saving masks. I’ve wondered if maybe ANT knows that either we have the ability to do for ourselves or we have within our Colonies others that can help us with our masks. This would not make him no longer wanted or needed in the Colonies and he would still be our fearless leader but he knows that weather he is on the plane or not, we will be fine until he is ready to fly with us.
I don’t think much of anything I am saying hasn’t already been said in one way or the other. I guess I just needed to have my voice and opinion heard.
Let’s look at the technical issues for a bit, too. When there were issues with the chat he did recently, he was more than happy to move to another place that worked better for us all, despite the learning curve to something new and trying to do it with a time clock ticking.
I don’t know what the commitment, if any at this point, is to NBC so do we have to keep that Colony there? Would it be possible, even if only temporary, for us to move to another “location”? At least until some of the technical issues can be worked out. I don’t like that there is anybody that still can’t log in and we should be empowered to do something about it FOR ourselves, for OUR Colony as I do think ANT would want us to do. Bluntly, does he really have to do everything?
Another thing I would love is if we can look at maybe combining the Colonies so that we all can go to the same place and interact with all Colony members.
Respectfully
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