MS Blog 6/1/08 Nothing positive to say

I was probably 9 or 10, there was a lot of negative things going on in the house and in my life, had been since day one of my existence. A relative that we didn't get to see very often came to live with us. Prior to, this relative treated me so-so, much better than those in the house. I let my expectations get the better of me and had high hopes of this person…… rescuing me a bit I guess, or at least being a safe place to go (so to speak). At first it was ok. One particular day, I came home from school all excited. I had painted a flower in art class and it had been chosen for and put on display (only a few were chosen) for some school function where many people were supposed to have seen it. I was so proud. I showed this relative my painting, looking for words of awe and approval. Those weren't the words that I got. All imperfections were pointed out. "Can't you get anything right?" "I don't know why they would put that on display." "You are just like your father." (my birth father, who there was nothing redeeming about from what I was told) Unfortunately, this experience just reinforced the "stupid and worthless" messages I had already gotten for years and was just one of many more like experiences to come...